BRIAN: I love the girls from like Delaware who walk you through Britney Spears Curious in their bathrooms.
ELISA: I haven't seen that.
BRIAN: Here's one that seems promising:
BRIAN: She's slightly morose, which really endears her to me. It's like, ho hum, this is my favorite perfume, and I'd get excited about it, if I were the kind of person to show excitement. I like her.
ELISA: OMG she said epitome.
BRIAN: You know what I like? I like it when people on youtube reference their other videos. "As I said in video number thirty-four."
ELISA: "...For those of you familiar with my oeuvre." Whoa, is that Donna Karan Signature?
BRIAN: Listen, she has very good, very quirky taste. I'm telling you. I like her.
ELISA: I know, she even said she's a snob. She knows, she knows.
BRIAN: Signature is her ALL TIME FAVORITE perfume. Literally no other perfume like it. I love her.
ELISA: She said "all time favorite" about like all of them, though. Just saying. Still, yes, I am impressed with her taste.
BRIAN: The only thing she doesn't like about Signature is--not the bottle, but the rubbery, annoying, crappy jamming atomizer. And she asks if anyone knows how to fix it. This is a common problem with Signature.
ELISA: Now Clarins! Who is this girl?
BRIAN: I know. If she pulls out vintage Mary Quant I'm going to get on a plane and show up in her Belgravia bathroom. Signature is good. Me, I like moody, pouty, sort of idiosyncratic things.
ELISA: Pouty! Name a pouty perfume. I automatically think rose.
BRIAN: Also, the kind that are really pissed off about something and they won't shut up about it. I like those, too. There's one by Phillippe Venet that I found in a discount store here. It was a tester and they don't sell it anymore so I got it for next to nothing. That one is pouty. It smells sort of like Angel and you go, Hmmm, okay, Angel. But then you realize no it's not Angel at all, and the perfume is like, Screw you. Like it resents being mistaken for Angel. It reminds me of one of the Russian girls who sell perfume at the kiosk here. She wears bright shimmery things that are lopsided or too small and always seems like she'd rather be out clubbing. She's strong and a little trashy.
ELISA: I always think things smell like Angel, until I get to know them, and they become their own people. Do you match your perfume to your mood or something else?
BRIAN: It's probably matched to my mood but I don't think much about it. I just grab until I've filled up my hands or whatever bag I happen to be carrying.
ELISA: Trashy is one of my top five characteristics in a perfume.
BRIAN: Trashy perfumes like...?
ELISA: Maurice Roucel stuff for sure. L de Lolita de Lempicka, Roberto Cavalli Oro, Broadway Nite, Tocade and Missoni (though the last two aren't faves of mine). The man knows trash! I think Fracas is trashy. Paris too. It's hard to get a perfume that's garish and sweet and yet still complex.
BRIAN: Some people call them cheap and cheerful but that doesn't get there for me.
ELISA: Oh yeah, not at all. Cheerful is like, a secretary.
BRIAN: I think Sophia Grojsman is trashy.
ELISA: Yes! I had a spray of Calyx on my hand earlier today.
BRIAN: It's like, Hey, I'm Paris; I'm cheerful. I'm rose! And I'm like, um, no, you're a semi in a low cut leopard print dress.
ELISA: Paris is rose, but her friend is holding her hair so she can puke.
BRIAN: Yvresse is ALMOST trashy.
ELISA: Ooh, I've never smelled Yvresse.
BRIAN: I bet you'd like it. It's PEACH. Big, stonkin spiced peach.
ELISA: Oh, fun. Jaipur is pretty trashy too.
BRIAN: Yvresse is like Mitsouko in a tight skirt with gold chains dangling from the waist like a Versace belt, but then the blouse is super classy.
ELISA: Now that sounds like an awesome outfit.
BRIAN: It's really gorgeous. Here's another video:
ELISA: Argh, this is loading slow for me. I'm on the edge of my seat about her favorite perfume! Don't tell me if you know already!
BRIAN: I won't.
ELISA: She doesn't consider body sprays perfume. That's something. The suspense is killing me!
BRIAN: It's like Mission Impossible. Who knows what will happen next!?
ELISA: Seriously, she'll get out like three words and then it hangs. Did she plan this?
BRIAN: I think that's just how she talks.
ELISA: "It's my favorite smell ever..." I think I love this girl even more than the last.
BRIAN: I like her way with a story.
ELISA: What timing. I like how her V-neck is so low it's not even in the frame.
BRIAN: It's your turn to find one.
ELISA: Okay. Looking, looking...
BRIAN: Waiting, waiting...
ELISA: This girl has a feel for the trashy:
ELISA: Keep an ear out for the way she says "also".
ELISA: "Old people can wear it," she says.
BRIAN: My favorite line so far: "I'm going to try to describe the scents to you, so we'll see how that geroers."
ELISA: We will indeed! All her bottles are like pastel UFOs.
BRIAN: The word milliliters is quite a hurdle for her.
ELISA: IT'S LONG.
ELISA: Weird how she equates strong to a men's scent.
BRIAN: At 1:06 she sprays it then dives below camera to smell it. I thought she might fall! It was like she was plummeting into another dimension. Perilously.
ELISA: She's probably wearing heels.
BRIAN: The bottles are Jolly Rancher fantasias. "The mini Fantasy, the mini Curious, the mini Believe..." I so need a mini fantasy. Even a macro mini fantasy.
ELISA: The "normal fantasy."
BRIAN: She likes Lovely.
ELISA: There's one other total oddball in there, too.
BRIAN: Perfect present for your mother if you know your mother doesn't want to smell old(!)
ELISA: Very tactful. I also like it when they say "hey guys" like they know me.
BRIAN: I like how she is preoccupied with tasteful.
ELISA: Did you get to White Diamonds yet?
BRIAN: Her grandmother gave it to her!
ELISA: I know!!!!!!!
BRIAN: It's very grown up, she admits. I appreciate that she doesn't say old. She's merciful.
ELISA: She's a sweetie.
BRIAN: Can I just tell you how happy it makes me that so many people record themselves talking about their favorite perfumes?
ELISA: This is bad. I could watch these all night. I love that it's like A GENRE. There are CONVENTIONS. For instance, it's important to keep the bottles out of view until you are ready to cover each one.
BRIAN: Also, "Hey Guys." Did you ever see that video:
ELISA: Anthropologists would think it was one word. This is their greeting: "HEIGUIZ."
BRIAN: It's maniacal. My favorites are the gay guys. Hey Gays!
ELISA: This is so weird. I'm thinking WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER SAY THAT? Man, if they had webcams when I was a teen, I shudder to think.
BRIAN: I like the contrasting moods and tones here. Some are downright morose.
ELISA: My favorites girls are the ones who act all bored.
ELISA: Like, Oh, YOU AGAIN.
BRIAN: It's like an obligation.
ELISA: Well, here I am, making another dumb video about my face.
BRIAN: Like the words are a verbal frown. We should stop.
ELISA: You're not going to post this whole thing, are you? You might break the internet.
BRIAN: We should make this a regular thing, called Hi Guys. We can review the latest youtube perfume videos.
ELISA: This Week in the Perfume Vids.
Find more Elisa here.