My Top Ten Perfume Neuroses (following Brian's lead)

1. I hardly ever purchase perfume at the store. And, if I do, I shop alone. I’m a lone ranger when it comes to my olfactory-obsession and I don’t want others’ opinions swaying my preferences. I don’t like chatting with SA’s and I nearly always say I’m “just looking” and take off. Somehow I manage to sneak sniffs and then purchase online or via telephone from home. (Plus, I get insane satisfaction when a package arrives so I love having perfume delivered).

2. I frequently “need” an entire line of perfume – every single Guerlain or every single Goutal – just to have the complete line. It’s sortof like needing a full deck of cards or having matching silverware.

3. Ditto to Brian’s #3 – I also spray too little and worry about being wasteful while the bottles pile up.

4. Ditto to Brian’s #7 – I also spend countless hours finding the perfect perfume for a person who just doesn’t get crazy about fragrance like I do. I often find said perfume gift collecting dust in that person’s home.

5. Having worked in the marketing/branding field I tend to over think the advertising and marketing campaigns of all perfumes. This is likely why I was annoyed with Tom Ford. I over think perfume advertising to the point that sometimes I won’t allow myself to sniff something because I disliked their ads. Or, conversely, I force myself to like a fragrance because I like it’s ads (Dior Midnight Poison).

6. I often buy perfume I don’t particularly like just because it’s “educational” or a “good addition to my collection.” Things like Miel de Bois and Apres l’Ondee come to mind because I don’t like either of these and I knew that when I purchased them.

7. When there’s a sale I lose all sense of reason. I calculate the dollar amount I’ll save on each bottle and think things like “when will I be able to purchase Chanel for 20% off again?” Saks Friends & Family sale is a problem for me. I am NOT like this with anything else. I don’t buy more clothing or shoes or bed linens or food simply because it’s on sale. In all other aspects of my life I’m frugal….except perfume.

8. I have perfume-related plans running through my head often. I frequently think for several hours over a few days about which perfume I’ll wear to an upcoming engagement. I’m surprised I haven’t started a perfume journal yet. I’ve thought about this a lot.

9. Aside from my “more monogamous” perfume project where I wear one scent Monday through Friday during the day I typically change perfume about three times per day. There’s usually a daytime/office scent then an at-home-in-the-evening scent then a bedtime scent. This adds up to at least 21 scents per week.

10. I live in fear of growing to dislike my favorites because I have numerous back-up bottles of these. Back-up bottles seem necessary because of what Brian said – the fear that the formula will change or the fragrance will be discontinued, etc. Totally neurotic, I know.

P.S. The above image is Kristen Wiig from Saturday Night Live. Ms. Wiig is brilliantly funny. She also has a knack for playing neurotic characters.