Vivienne Westwood Boudoir

Boudoir is perhaps the only fragrance which caused me to swoon to unbelievable heights at first spritz then soar into absolute nausea by the end of the day. I mean, I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I needed to shower. I simply had to launder the clothing it had contaminated.

I’ve read the reviews of Boudoir (including TS’s review in The Guide calling it “Bidet”) so I was prepared for something potentially gaggity. Perhaps this over preparation is what caused me to both love it and hate it so strongly. At first, Boudoir smells like a potent fl-oriental with loads of powder – but in a very pretty ladylike (ok, maybe lady of the night) manner. I kept thinking (for the first hour) why does everyone call this skanky/dirty because it’s so sultry gorgeous. That first hour was pure joy. I thought I had found (another) top 10 scent of all time.

Then...after about 3 hours Boudoir began to smell like, like...well I’ll just say it...like bodily fluids, female bodily fluids in particular and very similar to the way your sheets might smell after having a really, um, sweaty and repeated romp all night long during the summer in a humid bedroom without air conditioning. Sweet, musky, sex.

I came home from the office and told my husband I needed to jump in the shower because I felt like I smelled like a “prostitute who had a very busy day.” He took a whiff and said that I kinda did smell like that. Well, then, of course I said “How do you know what a busy prostitute smells like?!”

Listed notes for Boudoir: viburnum, marigold, orange blossom, orris, rose, cinnamon, coriander, cardamom, amber, vanilla, sandalwood, patchouli.