Saturday, November 29, 2008

My Top Ten Perfume Neuroses (following Brian's lead)

1. I hardly ever purchase perfume at the store. And, if I do, I shop alone. I’m a lone ranger when it comes to my olfactory-obsession and I don’t want others’ opinions swaying my preferences. I don’t like chatting with SA’s and I nearly always say I’m “just looking” and take off. Somehow I manage to sneak sniffs and then purchase online or via telephone from home. (Plus, I get insane satisfaction when a package arrives so I love having perfume delivered).

2. I frequently “need” an entire line of perfume – every single Guerlain or every single Goutal – just to have the complete line. It’s sortof like needing a full deck of cards or having matching silverware.

3. Ditto to Brian’s #3 – I also spray too little and worry about being wasteful while the bottles pile up.

4. Ditto to Brian’s #7 – I also spend countless hours finding the perfect perfume for a person who just doesn’t get crazy about fragrance like I do. I often find said perfume gift collecting dust in that person’s home.

5. Having worked in the marketing/branding field I tend to over think the advertising and marketing campaigns of all perfumes. This is likely why I was annoyed with Tom Ford. I over think perfume advertising to the point that sometimes I won’t allow myself to sniff something because I disliked their ads. Or, conversely, I force myself to like a fragrance because I like it’s ads (Dior Midnight Poison).

6. I often buy perfume I don’t particularly like just because it’s “educational” or a “good addition to my collection.” Things like Miel de Bois and Apres l’Ondee come to mind because I don’t like either of these and I knew that when I purchased them.

7. When there’s a sale I lose all sense of reason. I calculate the dollar amount I’ll save on each bottle and think things like “when will I be able to purchase Chanel for 20% off again?” Saks Friends & Family sale is a problem for me. I am NOT like this with anything else. I don’t buy more clothing or shoes or bed linens or food simply because it’s on sale. In all other aspects of my life I’m frugal….except perfume.

8. I have perfume-related plans running through my head often. I frequently think for several hours over a few days about which perfume I’ll wear to an upcoming engagement. I’m surprised I haven’t started a perfume journal yet. I’ve thought about this a lot.

9. Aside from my “more monogamous” perfume project where I wear one scent Monday through Friday during the day I typically change perfume about three times per day. There’s usually a daytime/office scent then an at-home-in-the-evening scent then a bedtime scent. This adds up to at least 21 scents per week.

10. I live in fear of growing to dislike my favorites because I have numerous back-up bottles of these. Back-up bottles seem necessary because of what Brian said – the fear that the formula will change or the fragrance will be discontinued, etc. Totally neurotic, I know.

P.S. The above image is Kristen Wiig from Saturday Night Live. Ms. Wiig is brilliantly funny. She also has a knack for playing neurotic characters.


Julie H. Rose said...

I can relate to #5.

And then I read the Jo Malone post - I don't like anything JM because a trip to their store was so wretched.

The shop seemed like an upscale BBBW, with snots for salepeople.

Over at L'artisan, a few blocks away, I was treated delightfully. It does make a difference!

ScentScelf said...

I had to smile at so many items on your list...#1, I'm with you...#2, do you collect music? If so, I'm guessing you try to get every recording by certain artists...#7, I wish that instinct only applied to one commodity in my life ;)...

Your, and Brian's, lists have been entertaining (and provoking)...thanks. :)

Tania said...

Nice to know I'm not alone with my perfume neuroses... ;-)

I'm with you on most of those. Except I don't care at all about collecting entire lines (but then, I have mismatched dishes, glasses, silverware... I'm just not the 'complete set' type). Or advertising campaigns, which mostly just wash over me.

And I long ago learned not to buy perfume for people who wouldn't know the good stuff if it bit them in the ass. Specifically, my Mum, who stubbornly clings to her love of Body Shop White Musk and regifts anything else!

I'm being monogamous with Mitsouko this week. Though I had a quickie with LouLou last night..... ;-) (Yes, I tried it again, wondered why I hadn't liked it last time I tried, and bought a snall bottle on sale! See no. 7. re: sales..... )

Tania said...


is that Jo Malone not in the UK? Because I've been to several here, and the SA's couldn't be nicer or more helpful. Maybe that training has not crossed the pond... ;-)

Starkplug said...

Great top ten list. I agree that marketing has a lot to do with perfume, I think Romance smells really good because I like their marketing campaign. You should post this to my buddy's site People can also vote on the list if they don't agree on the rankings.

Abigail said...


Yes, I used to collect music - all sorts but especially classic rock and jazz. But that is one of the collections I pared down when I got fed up with "clutter" and knew that the perfume collection would never shrink ;-)

Abigail said...

I'm ecstatic that you had a quickie with LouLou!! :-)

Abigail said...

I just quick glanced at your friend's site - Top Ten - I think I could spend awhile there...I love lists.
Thanks so much!